indulge at your own risk

-flying-grayson-:

jurobu:

Batman > Flash

It’s ok, he doesn’t kill, only breaks bones.

-flying-grayson-:

jurobu:

Batman > Flash

It’s ok, he doesn’t kill, only breaks bones.

lulz-time:

 

Almost Politically Correct Redneck

siddharthasmama:

dammitjean:

fyeahcap:

ha!

Boom.

accurate.

siddharthasmama:

dammitjean:

fyeahcap:

ha!

Boom.

accurate.

(Source: mattbors.com)

(Source: katnisses)

Zooey Deschanel: Is that rain?
Siri: What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to-
Zooey Deschanel: Let's get tomato soup delivered!
Siri: ...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want.
Zooey Deschanel: Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes.
Siri: Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just-
Zooey Deschanel: Remind me to clean up.
Siri: Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible-
Zooey Deschanel: Tomorrow.
Siri: I'm in hell. This is hell.
Zooey Deschanel: Excellent. Today, we're dancing.
Siri: I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything.
Zooey Deschanel: Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll."
Siri: I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you.
Zooey Deschanel: *dances*
Siri: Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet.

tyleroakley:

I’m crying at the beauty of this interaction.

(Source: narcotic)

pretty badass frog

that’s what i’d do if i was a frog

i would literally sit there and just be a frog

hell yeeea

(Source: mrsaberhagen)

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

x0stuff:
thats just ambiguous enough to write on every true/false question
Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard

Expertly done.

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

x0stuff:

thats just ambiguous enough to write on every true/false question

Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard

Expertly done.

(Source: 1point6one8)

lulz-time:

Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard

lulz-time:

Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard

(Source: sarahshiney)

veggieveggielove:

-inspired:

Man Lives on cliff and talks down suicide jumpers for last 50 years
Meet the Australian Who’s Saved 160 People from SuicideDon Ritchie lives across the street from the most famous suicide spot in Australia: A cliff known as “The Gap.” Most people would move, but Ritchie’s stayed for almost 50 years—saving an estimated 160 people from suicide.
So what’s his big secret? Ritchie wakes up every morning and looks out the window for “anyone standing alone too close to the precipice.” If he sees someone who looks like they might be contemplating a jump, he walks over and… strikes up a conversation.He just gives them a warm smile, asks if they’d like to talk and invites them back to his house for tea. Sometimes, they join him.
“I’m offering them an alternative, really,” Ritchie says. “I always act in a friendly manner. I smile.”
Ritchie’s house might be the worst real estate ever. One person a week commits suicide at the “the Gap,” the cliff he lives across from. It’s protected only by a small, one-meter fence, despite its legendary reputation as a suicide spot dating back to the 1800s.
But the former life insurance salesman says he doesn’t feel “burdened” by the fact that people are always contemplating jumping to their deaths outside his house. In fact, he and his wife Moya see it as a blessing: “I think, ‘Isn’t it wonderful that we live here and we can help people?’”
Ritchie, who basically sounds like the nicest guy in the entire world, is 84, and has spent much of the last year battling cancer. But, as you might expect for a dude who’s managed to live across from a fucked-up, tragic place, and not become a casualty himself, he’s optimistic: “I imagine somebody else will come along and do what I’ve been doing.” I hope so.

This is unbelievable. This man is such a hero.

veggieveggielove:

-inspired:

Man Lives on cliff and talks down suicide jumpers for last 50 years

Meet the Australian Who’s Saved 160 People from Suicide

Don Ritchie lives across the street from the most famous suicide spot in Australia: A cliff known as “The Gap.” Most people would move, but Ritchie’s stayed for almost 50 years—saving an estimated 160 people from suicide.

So what’s his big secret? Ritchie wakes up every morning and looks out the window for “anyone standing alone too close to the precipice.” If he sees someone who looks like they might be contemplating a jump, he walks over and… strikes up a conversation.
He just gives them a warm smile, asks if they’d like to talk and invites them back to his house for tea. Sometimes, they join him.

“I’m offering them an alternative, really,” Ritchie says. “I always act in a friendly manner. I smile.”

Ritchie’s house might be the worst real estate ever. One person a week commits suicide at the “the Gap,” the cliff he lives across from. It’s protected only by a small, one-meter fence, despite its legendary reputation as a suicide spot dating back to the 1800s.

But the former life insurance salesman says he doesn’t feel “burdened” by the fact that people are always contemplating jumping to their deaths outside his house. In fact, he and his wife Moya see it as a blessing: “I think, ‘Isn’t it wonderful that we live here and we can help people?’”

Ritchie, who basically sounds like the nicest guy in the entire world, is 84, and has spent much of the last year battling cancer. But, as you might expect for a dude who’s managed to live across from a fucked-up, tragic place, and not become a casualty himself, he’s optimistic: “I imagine somebody else will come along and do what I’ve been doing.” I hope so.

This is unbelievable. This man is such a hero.

stfuconservatives:

Incredible. I am in awe of their sacrifice.
-Jess

stfuconservatives:

Incredible. I am in awe of their sacrifice.

-Jess

(Source: timmyp10)

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

wwiao:
imagine if u were really high at 7/11 and you saw a frickin face on the chocolate milk jug, id start whispering to it


Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

wwiao:

imagine if u were really high at 7/11 and you saw a frickin face on the chocolate milk jug, id start whispering to it

Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard

(Source: jkimisyellow)

chaikneeboy:

BWAHAHAHAHA!

chaikneeboy:

BWAHAHAHAHA!

(Source: horrorandstarbucks)